Renewed...

It's taking me a long time to come back in this site and make new blog entries. I have made a promise actually that I need to move on, and by moving on, I mean coming back with renewed vigor to enjoy life and make peace with my history.

At this same time of last year, I was almost totally wreck. I lost all the energy and reasons to enjoy life. I was expressive about my disappointments, sadness, anger, dismay, frustrations, anything negative... Blogging seemed the only way I could ventilate the negative energies that was mounting inside. When I was done and so consumed, I stopped.

Now, I am definitely ready for this Year and the new challenges that life has yet to offer. Loved all the good and bad things that happened to me last year; from my last bf breaking my heart and putting to end of our long relationship, to meeting new people, and new lovers .... and of course rekindling long lost friendships...

I realized that life is constantly re-aligning itself to attain an equilibrium. To gain something you need to give back something away. I truly believe in that. I realize that what I learned in Chemistry during my earlier days could be adopted in mundane issues of our lives – that matter can not be created nor destroyed, it can only be transformed into another matter. Nothing is actually lost.

I may have lost some of my energies, I also gained some. I may have lost a person, but I also meet new ones and renewed the old ones, including that of my erstwhile. Of course, I am not being wooed or taken back by my ex, but we meet occasionally and we are being civil (?) to each other.

This new acquired state has offered me chance to look on things differently. It made me realize that some things, even very small ones will make me happy and can be celebrated. I have realized as well that every moment is so fleeting, so I have to enjoy and celebrate all of those moments no matter how infinitesimally significant they can be. I know they will not come back to their original state so I have made a definite vow to enjoy and savor everything I can savor and make it a very important memory and a lesson, a tool for another yet worthwhile experience in the succeeding seconds, minutes, hours, days or years of my life.

It is definitely true, that when something you held important is lost, you will realize in the end that very little is needed to enjoy life. I have realized now that I have enough to live life and enjoy it. I have enough good friends, I have enough good relationships, I have enough things to survive the daily requirements of living, I have enough exercise to feel healthy. I played sports frequently enough and enjoy the feeling of well-being, and I have enough sex to satiate my sometimes untamed biological needs. I have enough vacations and enough time to enjoy the priceless time of my dear friends and loved ones. I have enough things for everything necessary. What can I ask for?